Thursday, May 14, 2009
Another Serenity Experiment Update
Well, this isn't going like I pictured, but it's going. I probably have more than three months of bedmaking (I didn't make a note of the date), several weeks of being dressed right away (didn't note the date), and now about a week of resuming my meditation practice. (I did make a note of that date). So far what I'm experiencing isn't very much like serenity. Meditation was harder to get started. I kept forgetting to start so it took three days to really begin. What I remember from my past meditation practice is that it brought me a lot of peace. Not what I'm getting this time. Every day I meditate I get in touch with how furious I am about a couple of things that I've tried really hard not to be mad about. But I am really furious. As I've mentioned before, a lot of my ptsd symptoms have to do with not acknowledging how I feel. Well, it looks like my higher power has heard my prayer to be relieved of those symptoms. I'm not sure what to do about this, but I guess I will stomp around today and grrrrrrrr.
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