Monday, October 08, 2007

Battle of the Sexes

I am worried that these facts I pick up here and there; handled casually by the media like they aren't important at all; are as important as water and food to people but totally unnoticed!

I just heard on NBC (a talk show with two psychologists) that the "friends with benefits" phenomenon that seems to be popular right now, doesn't work at all well for women. Well, we women probably already knew that, but there's science that explains it. It seems that testosterone blocks the receptors in the brain that cause attachment as a result of the pleasure hormone that floods the brain during good sex. But women become strongly attached as a result of the pleasure hormone because, of course, we don't have enough testosterone to block the attachment.

Think how much heartache women suffer because we become so deeply emotionally attached to guys we experience sexual pleasure with while they remain completely detached. We decide that we're in love and expect him to be also. Think how much some guys disrespect women because they think women are "weak" based on our propensity for "falling in love" uninvited. And all the time it's a plot by biology for guys to run around impregnating women without getting attached while the women get attached and stay faithful out of "love." Oh how sad.

Of course, I also heard a couple of years ago - again on some t.v. show with psychologists - that when men fall in love (and no I have no idea what the biology is that causes it), their testosterone drops and so they become very attached and become like women in their desire to kiss, hug, cuddle, etc. Eventually this wears off and they are not as attached, and they don't like to cuddle, etc. unless it leads to sex. Think how much heartache women suffer because suddenly the love of their lives detaches from them and only cares about sex. Men wonder what happened - why did she become all disgustingly clingy but doesn't want sex? Biology again.

If people knew this it would really save a lot of pain for women. Men would have to work a lot harder to get into womens' pants, so to speak. We women wouldn't expect as much from the poor babies because we'd know they couldn't help but be detached. They're programmed to move from woman to woman and if they don't it's a miracle. Of course, our mothers and grandmothers told us this, but we didn't believe them. It turns out they were right. I hate that. Of course, all this just makes me want some testosterone or to be celibate for the rest of my life.

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