Saturday, January 22, 2011

Victim Thinking continued

I did a little online research into victim thinking and learned that that personal world view usually comes from trauma where the person really was powerless.  However, when that stance turns into a way of life, it is incredibly damaging.  Although it has its perks - like: blaming others makes you feel "right," self-pity gets you sympathy from others (up to a point), it keeps you from being responsible for directing your life.  You unconsciously create situations where you're a victim so you can keep your role going.  The most noticeable thing about a "victim thinker" is that they are constantly complaining and blaming.  It's their main or only topic of conversation.

Life is full of situations where we really are powerless - tornadoes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters, for example.  But we ARE in charge of our responses to those disasters.  Victim thinkers whine about their fate and look for someone to blame.  Non-victims (responsible people) take charge and make things better.

Lots of philosophers and spiritual gurus will tell you that the answer to victim thinking is forgiveness.  I think though, that the beginning of the answer is to take charge of making things better.  When I'm working on making things better, I'm not blaming and complaining.  Then I'm more likely to forgive when I'm not feeling hopeless, helpless and full of rage. 

" my vehement determination to no longer be a victim, I held the hostility that perpetuated my pain.  Once I realized this, I experienced a spiritual awakening in the form of a deep desire to let go of those feelings that were poisoning my life...I gave up my bitterness and regained my life."   Hope for Today.

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