Meditation

This week's concept in Melody Beattie's, 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact, is meditation.  The first thing I heard about meditation in the program was that prayer is talking to God and meditation is listening to God.  I liked the terminology.  Prayer sounds to me like begging.  Talking and listening is a conversation which doesn't require that I be on my best behavior or use the right language or not complain, etc.  I complain to God a lot - He/She doesn't seem to mind.  Right now I'm complaining about my problem with my leg.  I'm asking Him/Her if this is really something I'm going to have to put up with. 

Anyway... for a long time I enjoyed a comfortable meditation practice - had no trouble sitting for 20 minutes a day listening for God.  I noticed that whether it was God talking to me or my own mind, that when I was asking for guidance for that day, I got no messages about doing the dishes, pleasing my boss or what color my hair should be.  The messages were entirely about how I could be a channel for God's love and peace that day.  That sounds pretty lofty but it's the truth.  Since the wreck, I've not been able to re-establish a meditation practice.  I fidget at about 1 1/2 minutes and it keeps up until I finally give up.  What I know for sure though, is that I will keep trying because meditation has been unbelievably valuable in my life over the past 27 years.