"Are the people you're involved with in business, play, and love living by values that are harmonious with yours? Are you dancing with the devil somewhere in your life, either by associating with people who don't have integrity, or by not living up to your personal values?" Melody Beatty. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact.
I'm fascinated by the differences in the thinking process I use to work my program on co-dependency vs addiction. If you had asked me a few years ago who was responsible for my anguish, I would have named names and not one of them would have been mine. My program for addiction taught me to look at myself first. In the beginning I thought they were trying to blame me but finally saw that they were trying to teach me the solution to my problems - which was to look at myself and what the choices were that placed me in the position I was in. I was thrilled to learn that all I had to do to stay out of pain was to make different choices.
So it was a long time before I learned that it's also important to look at the people I associate with and their influence on me. Dancing with the devil is a good way to put it. I was told to "stick with the winners" which meant stay away from the influence of those who were still acting out their sicknesses. I was also told "their sickness is stronger than your wellness." But I forget this. I've been in recovery a long time now and tend to forget some of the basics. I love this reminder.
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