Thursday, March 14, 2013

Stuff that It's a very Bad Idea to do in Relationships, Part 3

In addition to criticism and being bossed, people really, really, hate being ignored.  I've heard it said that children will disobey, knowing they will be punished, just to keep their parents' attention.  I've noticed that most of us adults retain a lot of childish attitudes and behaviors even though we look like mature human beings.  Examples:  pouting, temper tantrums, competing for attention.  Maybe we also retain the fear that if we're ignored, our needs will not be met.

Looking like we're paying attention is almost as important as actually paying attention.  I happen to be one of those people who hear best when I'm looking away from the person.  Unfortunately, that leaves the impression that I'm actually not listening.  So I have learned to look at the person that's talking even if I'm a little uncomfortable.  It's a gift I can give that lets them know I care.


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