Sunday, June 27, 2010

Unacceptable behavior

I have heard a lot about unacceptable behavior from people (including myself) who are griping about someone else's behavior. I've always wondered what the definition of "unacceptable behavior" is. For a long time I thought it was anything someone was doing that I didn't like. From listening to other people, I think a lot of the time that's what they mean too. That can't be right, though. There are a lot of things people do that I don't like. The trouble is, they probably think they're doing the right thing. Hmmm. For right now, I've decided unacceptable behavior is behavior that injures me in some way. Even that is a little fuzzy, though. Maybe I've misinterpreted something someone said and got my feelings hurt. Am I injured? Probably not.

So I'm thinking that if I'm physically injured, lost a lot (for me) of money, lost my reputation because of something someone said about me that's not true, etc. - that would be unacceptable. So then what? I'm still going to have to look at myself. It may be that I trusted someone I knew better than to trust. Maybe I've allowed the behavior because I'm afraid of losing the relationship. There could be a lot of ways I had a part in it. Maybe if I stop my part, I won't be harmed. Sometimes I just need to stay away from the person. In any case, consulting another knowledgeable person before I do anything, is absolutely necessary.

For sure, for stuff that's just annoying but not harmful, every bit of effort I've put into being at peace with annoying stuff has paid off big time. It's pretty simple. I just bless the person in my mind and think about something else. With practice, I get better and better at this!

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