Serenity Experiment Update

"Bullying myself into recovery won't work. Loving myself into it will." -HOPE FOR TODAY

I think this quote says it for me. My experiment in self-discipline as a way to serenity did not work out because the way I do self-discipline is a lot like bullying. Making choices based on love for myself and other people is the way to go for sure. For example, having the discipline to get up every day at 5:00 a.m. just because it's the right thing to do is what I had in mind. The only problem is that my body apparently is still recovering from being hit by a car and multiple surgeries, etc.

Making a decision about when to get up based on love - I want to be up in time to have a whole day while at the same time honoring my body's need for rest. So, I will do all I can to get to sleep at an early hour by listening to a restful sleep CD, not having the tv on in my room, having a bubble bath before bed, giving myself a foot rub, etc. I will set the alarm for about 30 minutes earlier than I generally wake up, adjust to that time, then set it back 30 minutes more, etc. If I've had a very active day and feel extremely tired, I won't set the alarm at all and just sleep as much as my body needs.

Sure enough I have had the "discipline" to do most of the things that work for me and as a result I'm usually up by 8:00 a.m. Sometimes I wake up earlier than that if I've slept well. I have more to do on getting myself to sleep early, and I'm not using "bullying" to get myself to do it. I'll bet this love thing would work on some other areas where I need more "discipline."