Thursday, April 22, 2010


One of my sponsors told me yesterday that after doing the Drop the Rock book study, she felt like she had had surgery and wasn't yet healed up. She said it for me! I'm experiencing a sort of hang over from the study. My character defects are "in my face." I feel okay and grateful for being able to see some things about myself that I sort of knew but paid no attention to. I've been in recovery long enough that when I see this stuff I don't immediately take a nose dive into shame and think I'm such a bad person that I should do the world a favor and kill myself. I do feel fairly unsettled and know I've got to start working on the change. I don't believe God's intention is for me to become perfect so I don't feel that pressure. I'm just aware that I'm still a very self-centered person that needs work. Another of my sponsors said that the program is the only place where the more that's wrong with you, the more we love you. It's true!

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