After the awakening that the only place to live was in the present, I had another amazing realization, thanks to the same counselor that told me about the book, Your Erroneous Zones. I called her, having a huge fit because my husband had left our youngest two children in the house alone while I was at the grocery store. Both of them were very severely disabled, and when I got back there were windows broken out and various other disasters had occurred. He was in the backyard working in the garden. I was completely beside myself.
She asked me what I thought needed to happen, and I said that he needed to change! She asked me how long I had known him (15 years), and what he had changed during that period of time. I said he now ate vegetables. She said that many people would have self-examined during that period of time with as many life changing experiences that he'd had during that period, and that they would have made some changes. Since he had not, she said, how likely was it that anything she or I could say or do would get him to change. A flash of light went on - he wasn't going to change! She said that we were now getting somewhere. So, if he's not going to change, she said, what will you do to fix this problem. Of course, the obvious answer was that I need to get a babysitter if I left the kids at home while I went somewhere else.
It was another wake up call to stop waiting for other people to see things my way and do what I wantedno matter how right I thought I was. From then on I either asked someone else to watch the kids when I went some where or I went when they were in school.
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