Thursday, September 01, 2011

Excited to Wake Up

One of the things I always hoped would happen for me as an adult is to wake up excited about the day.  There were a few times as a child when something special was going to happen that I waked up excited.  But not so much as an adult.  I usually woke up feeling anxious about my to do list and always felt behind before I started.  But these days, after several years of working on losing my guilt and anxiety about how little energy I have and how little I get done, I've been able to focus on doing things that improve my quality of life.  That focus has started having an effect so that I look forward to my day and feel a little tingle of excitement. 

For the past several years I've had one of my televisions tuned in to a music channel pretty much 24 hours a day - sweet, soft music for the most part.  In my effort to bump up my enjoyment, I've started changing the music I listen to several times a day.  Right now it's jazz.  I had forgotten how much I enjoy smooth jazz.  And, of course, reading a poem a day is very enjoyable.  For a few days since I ditched cranky, depressed Emily Dickinson, I've been reading e.e. cummings.  He has such a great sense of humor and writes the best love poems ever!

your little voice
                         Over the wires came leaping
and i felt suddenly
        With the jostling and shouting of merry flowers
were skipping high-heeled flames
courtesied before my eyes
                                          or twinkling over to my side
Looked up
with impertinently exquisite faces
floating hands were laid upon me
I was whirled and tossed into delicious dancing
with the pale important
                                     stars and the Humorous moon
dear girl
How i was crazy how i cried when i heard
                                                                     over time
and tide and death
            your voice

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