Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Fear of Being Taken Advantage of

One of the many times I've been in counseling, the counselor said my greatest problem was that I was "gullible."  In other words I hadn't learned to take care of my best interests around other people - that I just trusted everybody whether they were trustworthy or not.  That, of course, led to constant resentment.  I was just chronically bursting with - first, anger; then rage.  After I got into recovery, my sponsor taught me how to handle myself around other people. 

First of all, she said, my source of love, safety, and really everything, was my Higher Power.  I could safely let go of all that fear of being taken advantage of because I was going to learn how to take care of myself.  For one thing, I needed to let go of all my expectations of others and how they needed to treat me and become dependent on my Higher Power instead of other people.  My HP would send the right people to me when I needed them.  This would mean that I was an independent person in the world - I was in the care of a perfect being who would not let me down.  Then she taught me that I could treat people the way I wanted to be treated which in turn teaches people how to treat me.  People who did not treat me well could simply be avoided rather than my becoming outraged about it.  My "rules" about how other people were supposed to treat me could be dumped in the trash because everyone has their own rules and weren't likely to follow mine.

For the most part I've been able to live in peace with other people.  It's hard sometimes and I need a lot of reminders and support from other recovering people, but I am very grateful.

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