Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Regeneration of Spirit

Went to the 5:30 women's meeting which was on gratitude.  I used to hate gratitude meetings - they seemed  so trite.  But now I love them.  I thought of all I have learned and practiced over the years and how my spirit has regenerated.  That phrase was in one of my readings this morning.  One of the things I'm most grateful for is that I've lost a lot of my fear of being judged.  In the program I am just who I am with all my good and bad qualities and I hide almost nothing from the people of the program.  I am accepted and loved just the way I am.  When I walk in the door I drop all my pretenses.  I still have some fears of judgment - especially my own and other close relationships, but I am willing to be honest in spite of my fear.  Being who I am has given me the gift of being a "free spirit" which is what I've always wanted in my life.  It's who I thought I was in my drinking days - although I was actually a captive of my own self-judgement and the chemicals I was ingesting.  Now my spirit is truly free!  I am grateful.

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