Sunday, November 21, 2010

Personal Inventory

I've been a lot of places with the 10th Step of continuing to take personal inventory but it's always been a benefit.  It was suggested to me from the very beginning that I do one every night (or once a day) and that it would be helpful to do it in writing.  I hated doing a daily inventory.  I felt like I was just looking for ways to make myself feel bad.  So I didn't get serious about it until I had a scary experience testifying before a congressional committee. 

My dear "spiritual mother" said that if I had been doing a daily inventory I would have noticed that I was very fearful and taken spiritual steps to address the fear before I testified.  Sure enough that would have helped a lot.  I've learned to address fear before doing something important:  Pray, ask for guidance, manicure my nails, fix my hair, put on my best clothes.  (That part about nails, hair, and clothes is spiritual preparation because doing that preparation keeps me from thinking about how I look.  I've already done my best to look my best.  After that it's "whatever.")

Since getting serious I eventually got around to doing a daily inventory - in writing like they suggested.  I just write what I did that day, what I liked, what I'd like to do better in the future and I ask for help to do better.  That's it.  No frills.  No examination of my emotions, thoughts, etc.  - just my behavior.  The rest is already plain to me. 

One of the ways this inventory is helpful - if I know I'm going to be doing it, I often show some restraint because I hate writing crappy stuff down.  Kind of like keeping a food diary - I hate writing down that I ate twenty chocolate chip cookies.  Now it's perfectly possible to just quit doing the inventory to keep from having to write crappy stuff down, and I've certainly done that.  But then I lose the benefits and the benefits outweigh the hard part.

No comments:

Blog Archive