Let's see...since just before Christmas I've had one difficulty after another. Eye doctor said I needed to do cataract surgery. The guy that drove my car out of the car wash didn't speak English that well and didn't do my left-foot accelerator that well either - drove it right over a three-foot high concrete barricade, which according to State Farm, totaled it. I missed Christmas with my Texas family. I was coming down some stairs after a movie with friends on New Year's day, and twisted my bad knee. There was an ominous pop and I left there in a wheelchair. I missed my middle grandson's graduation from Air Force basic training. About the time my knee healed and I was pretty much healed from the cataract removal from my right eye, I got the flu. (I forgot about the flu shot - so much else was going on.) My car was finally fixed (it wasn't really totaled) and I drove it home. I pulled into the garage as far to the right as I could so that I could get the driver's door open all the way, making it possible for me to get out of the car without having to bend my right knee. I miscalculated and ripped the right mirror off. During this whole time, the weather was very wintery - snow, ice, bitter cold.
So... In the past any one of those things would have caused me to completely freak out. Fear would have overcome my rational mind. My self-criticism would have escalated and I would have kicked myself from here to Sunday. All of those things happening in a short period of time ... well, I can't even imagine what I would have been like. Instead, I laughed. (I also cussed a good bit, but I laughed at the same time.) I realized that all of that stuff was just stuff that happens. The part I played in it just proved that I'm human. Like I've been taught in recovery, I looked for the good in each event. I'm still looking but I'm sure I'll find something to appreciate. The lucky thing is that my friend, Eric, has been staying with me so he drove me from here to there, went to the store, picked up prescriptions, put drops in my eyes, heated up canned chicken and noodle soup and made soothing noises.
None of that may sound like much, but I am convinced that it's proof that I've been rocketed into the fourth dimension. I was mildly irritated instead of being a basket case. It was pretty peaceful inside my head. I decided that God had given me another opportunity for a retreat. I read Anne Lamott's latest book on spirituality and the latest issue of the Sun magazine. I lost a couple of pounds. Definitely the fourth dimension.
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