Sunday, December 30, 2012

One or the Other: Self Pity or Acceptance

I really hate it that any attitude I take that isn't acceptance is self-pity.  I've tried and tried to escape the truth of this.  I listened to an audio book on acceptance in the car and I'm sure other drivers wondered why the old lady in the old Honda Civic appeared to be yelling the f-word.  I needed to put up a sign that said, "There are just some things I refuse to accept!!!"

There's a whole philosophy of acceptance in the recovery programs.  No one tells us that we have to like everything that happens in life; that we should not have negative emotions.  Where the mistake comes in is when we don't change our attitude to realize that we are not Gods and so do not get to decide what should happen and what should not happen. 

We can dislike 100 degree heat in July but if we keep thinking that it shouldn't be that way and complain incessantly, we're just making ourselves more and more unhappy.  If, instead, we simply let go and accept what is, we become free to decide how to handle reality.  I can get a remote to start my car and get the air conditioning on before I get in.  That way I can stay out of the heat most of the time.  I can put a little ice chest in my car and carry the "cooler" so that when I'm out in the heat I have a way to keep relatively cool. 

As long as I complain, my life is just about noticing what I don't like instead of noticing all the good around me.  That attitude is self-pity whether I like the term or not.

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