Self Restraint

I'm reading something that makes a distinction between emotions and impulses. Good! Impulsive behavior is always a disaster in my experience. I'm usually feeling threatened so just attack when I think I've been attacked. Not good. I have a lifetime of little hurts I still have not resolved - although I'm working on it - and I'm liable to attack when I haven't actually been hurt. Then I have a mess to clean up. Then there's the other problem - when I've actually been attacked and just freeze up instead of doing something about it - which leads to resentment which in turn leads to my attacking when I haven't been attacked, etc. etc. etc. Learning to pause when I feel an impulse - oh! more valuable than gold!