Saturday, February 23, 2008

Progress, not Perfection

Well, I'm still working on that todo list but I'm finally seeing the end of it. And I'm not adding more things to it. Of course, the goal was to finish by the end of January and start the new year off with stuff done... Nevertheless, I feel pretty good about how much I have accomplished considering how little energy I have on some days.

I had my sleep study and now have a CPAP which still isn't being used since I can't figure out how to get the distilled water in there - but I'm close! I have been to physical therapy several times and can easily do all the balance and strength exercises Kathy gives me. In fact, I've resumed doing a little yoga. I can do down dog, warrior and triangle - not perfectly but well enough to really help my back. The yoga was something I added to the physical therapy exercises that I do almost every day now. I've resumed my meditation practice and have been able to be fairly consistent (5 days out of 7 most weeks). I've started eating my own cooking most of the time instead of take out. And since I'm getting enough sleep and better nutrition, I'm not hungry all the time like I have been for so long. I've even been able to feed some of my friends here and there. My will is almost finished. I still have to talk to some members of the family about it before it's finalized, but it's very close. I've gone through stacks of papers and thrown a lot of unnecessary stuff away. Extra blankets and sheets are now stored in those packages where you vacuum out the air - the thing is, the seal on the packages isn't great so... But they're stored anyway. My closets are now cleaned out and everything is where I want it so I can hang up my clothes after washing them! The black history event the Alzheimer's Association puts on each year as outreach to the African American community was a huge success. I didn't do much except help with some details and cheer Beverly on, but I did feel part of the success since I insist that we do it. There's more but I'm getting bored with this. So finally and best of all, I've arranged to do the first in a series of classes for recovering people that I know is needed but I'm not sure is wanted. The only way to find out is to offer them and see what happens.

The ability to do all of this is purely a gift. I just had a small disagreement with someone yesterday who insisted I was unique and wonderful because I have accomplished so much in the face of adversity. I insisted I was not unique and that everything I do and who I am is a gift. I'm totally not who I used to be. I enjoy the compliments but I know for a fact that I have not changed from my own resources. The love and support from friends, the love and strength given to me my higher power - all are the reasons I can do anything.

Thank you.

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