Wednesday, April 18, 2007


Sometime in April, sometime in the 70s, is the time the tornado came through southwest Missouri and killed my mother and grandmother. I can never remember the exact date, but I've noticed that in April, my body seems to know something happened then.

In 1986 on April 1st, Ron and I got our marriage license in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. We laughed because we said we could always claim we were just April fools. Ron insisted that he wanted to be married in a church with a real minister. I was amazed because he was totally anti organized religion. He told me he would haunt me if I had a religious funeral. So, I didn't. But he had to be married in a church. So, we were married on April 16 in the Presbyterian church in Eureka Springs, with my daughter, Liz and her husband, Fred and their son, Adam in attendance.

The poor minister did not know what to do with us. He told us he was worried about our ability to be married. He didn't say why. Ron was so terrified he was shaking. For many years I thought he was scared because of the risks of marrying me - which were many and high. In the end I realized he was more worried about whether he could step up to the plate and change the things his other wives had left him about. We got lucky. He changed quite a few things. A couple of the major ones he couldn't seem to change and he thought I was going to leave him. But I didn't. I was tougher than he thought and I loved him too much. Leaving him wouldn't have improved my quality of life one whit. We had way more joyful times than unhappy times.

Now there will be a new anniversary - the massacre at Virginia Tech. My grandson, Adam, will graduate from there in another year.

April is a sad and joyful month.

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