Season of Love

I like the idea of mistletoe being a symbol of the Christmas season. It might be a little out of fashion, but maybe it should come back into fashion. I have experienced so many losses in my life that everything is filtered through that knowledge. If we only have the present moment and no guarantees of anything more, and since this is the season of love, mistletoe hung everywhere for a reminder to kiss and hug each other while we still can....

Hope

Autumn can be a sad time or a hopeful time for me. Something about cooling weather and falling leaves used to bring on sadness. Now - especially now - I am hopeful. I'm sure it has a lot to do with new love and a new, very different president. I hope for much this next year - hope for opportunities to make a difference in the world, hope for opportunities to contribute to a special person's life, hope for more love shared with family and friends, and hope for my continued recovery. It occurs to me that my hope often comes from gratitude for gifts I've been given. And that would be true again this year.

Gratitude

Who knew gratitude would be such a source of power? For most of my life holidays made me feel sad because I knew they would be terrible. Actually, they weren't always terrible but I felt that I wasn't living up to what I was supposed to do or be at the holidays. Early in recovery I was taught that what I put into being happy and grateful for what I did do or be would be enough. And sure enough it was. That was the foundation for doing and being more and more of what I wanted to do and be. So, now I am grateful for the holidays - however they turn out - because it's another opportunity for fun, family, friends and love.

Anti-depressant

I'm trying to remember when I last remembered to take my anti-depressant. It may have been two or three days. Usually when I miss even one, I suddenly feel as if I weigh enough to sink into the earth. I now feel just fine. I'm going to keep taking these things because it's not a good idea to just stop. I'm just very interested in the fact that being given the gift of loving someone has raised my spirits so much that I'm depression free. An extra gift, that is.