Never Alone Again

When I first came into recovery, they told me I would never have to be alone again. That was hugely comforting to me because one of my greatest fears was that I was so unlovable that I would always be alone. I felt alone when I was with people. I felt alone when I was with people who said they loved me (I didn't believe them, really). And I could barely stand to be actually alone. I thought they meant that I would always have the people of the program but they meant I would always have God. Now - in my current state - I spend a lot of time alone. I can feel my old self lurking just out of the corner of my eye but that's as much as I can see. For the most part I can feel my greatest friend and parent present and I am not alone.

"What is sometimes called holiness is often only the invitation of God to be our Friend. As God becomes your friend, you become a friend to others. We experience true human friendship and from this experience we can imagine what kind of a Great Friend God can be. We believe Him to be a tireless, selfless, all conquering, miracle-working Friend. We can reach out to the Great Friend and figuratively take His hand in ours. I pray that I may think of God as a Great Friend in need." Twenty-Four Hours a Day