I think that a whole bunch of people in recovery plus a whole lot of other folks (I'm including myself in this) are just stuck in the emotional development of a one-year old child. We complain and complain and judge other people and somehow miss it that there are a lot of things we could be doing to solve our own problems. I had a counselor/therapist tell me a long time ago that when you complain and complain about the same on-going problem over and over and over, it's like a little baby crying and crying and crying so that someone will come and fix the problem. Babies can't help it. It's the only thing they're capable of doing. If someone doesn't come and fix it, they just keep crying louder and louder until they exhaust themselves and then fall asleep.
From time to time I realize I'm doing this - sometimes it takes me years to see it. Recently I decided that if I complained about something for more than 24 hours (even just inside my head), I was going to talk to somebody and decide on what action I could take to solve the problem. I say this a lot, but it's true: I'm old and I don't have time to waste on fruitless whining. Since I'm not a baby anymore I can just ask somebody for help if I don't know what to do myself. Sometimes the solution is to accept what I can't change and turn my attention to something else - preferably something positive.
I see this one-year old behavior everywhere - especially in politics. It's just sad. Blaming and complaining don't solve problems. We're stuck in our grown up bassinets.
Great analogy, mi amiga!
ReplyDelete