Monday, October 03, 2011

Short Answers

I've probably sat in thousands of meetings with a guy that likes to make the principles of the program into "one-liners."  I love it because I am able to remember the principles that way.  For example: "There's only one money problem - not enough of it.  There are only two possible solutions:  Earn more, spend less."  Try to argue with that!  I can't think of an exception. 

The other one I love is in regard to relationship problems, and it applies to every relationship of any kind:  "There are only three things you can do about a relationship conflict - change them, change yourself or leave."  Leaving could just mean leaving the room.  I would add that changing them is usually the first one us humans try - usually by raising hell in some way.  Almost always fails miserably.  People hate to be criticised.  It almost always just makes people want to fight back.  Asking extremely politely and respectfully will occasionally work. 

Changing myself means getting my attitude changed so that I can accept the person/situation exactly as it is without trying to change him, her or it.  That's the hardest one of all.  Of course, when I first heard this stuff, I wanted to argue - how can I accept a person or situation where I am being unfairly attacked?  The answer to that one is very complicated.  But the answer doesn't include arguing with the person.  Sometimes it just means that I accept reality rather than trying to change it.  It's likely that there's something I need to do about the situation instead of making it the responsibility of the other person. 

I love these simple ways of solving problems.  It's made my life so much less stressful.  Unfortunately, I've had to have help from someone every time I need to apply a principle.  I forget from one time to the next!

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