One of the things I always hoped would happen for me as an adult is to wake up excited about the day. There were a few times as a child when something special was going to happen that I waked up excited. But not so much as an adult. I usually woke up feeling anxious about my to do list and always felt behind before I started. But these days, after several years of working on losing my guilt and anxiety about how little energy I have and how little I get done, I've been able to focus on doing things that improve my quality of life. That focus has started having an effect so that I look forward to my day and feel a little tingle of excitement.
For the past several years I've had one of my televisions tuned in to a music channel pretty much 24 hours a day - sweet, soft music for the most part. In my effort to bump up my enjoyment, I've started changing the music I listen to several times a day. Right now it's jazz. I had forgotten how much I enjoy smooth jazz. And, of course, reading a poem a day is very enjoyable. For a few days since I ditched cranky, depressed Emily Dickinson, I've been reading e.e. cummings. He has such a great sense of humor and writes the best love poems ever!
your little voice
Over the wires came leaping
and i felt suddenly
dizzy
With the jostling and shouting of merry flowers
were skipping high-heeled flames
courtesied before my eyes
or twinkling over to my side
Looked up
with impertinently exquisite faces
floating hands were laid upon me
I was whirled and tossed into delicious dancing
up
Up
with the pale important
stars and the Humorous moon
dear girl
How i was crazy how i cried when i heard
over time
and tide and death
leaping
sweetly
your voice
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