"The trouble is STAYING clean, taming the pit bull that's been chewing on your innards your entire life, the one you've been bribing to stay out of your consciousness." Peter Coyote.
It's no use trying to be serene with inner conflicts lurking at the edge of consciousness determined to be dealt with. Anyone who thinks recovery from the disease of addiction is about not using alcohol and drugs is way off the beam. It's almost impossible to stay off them without serenity, and it's totally impossible to have serenity without self-awareness, self-examination and self-acceptance. That's really why I spend so much time and effort on a daily basis with prayer, meditation, meetings, helping others, accepting help myself, etc. Serenity and peace have never come from improving my environment, getting a better job, making the people around me into what I wanted them to be. They've only come when I've done the work on myself.
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