365 Project OLD pics

The view coming up the drive to the horse ranch where Bridget rides.

Paul, Susie and Nadine at El Chico's. Fun catching up on the news.

Yet another snowstorm!

Eric's partner Jax's picture with the men in his family.

Eric at his going away party (grrrr).

One of the bridges on the way to Eric's house.

The pond at the horse ranch where Bridget rides.

Another snow storm..

Snowdrift mixed with the birdseed on the ramp. Took this a month ago and don't remember why.

People who have been to my house will recognize this. When I was in the wheelchair, I simplified stuff leading to all my underwear and nightwear being piled on the dryer. My friend, Sharon, got these shelves for me to put things in order. I should have taken a "before" picture to contrast with this one - which is of the shelves after I finally straightened them up.

This is the room in the clubhouse where we do our book studies.

Not a lot of pictures for the time lapse. However, I'm giving myself credit for not giving up. I need to go to better places so I can get better pics.

365 Project Austin

This is ? I took a picture because it was an amazing array of whatever.

A cool way to see the sights in Austin

Here I am outside after we'd seen the exhibit. A very small but classy art museum.

Dee and I at the University of Texas at Austin. (The tower behind us is an historic site where Richard Speck shot people many years ago)

Prayer flags in the back yard of the Hindu temple just down the street from where we stayed.

View through the window of the new Hindu temple

Ceiling of amazing Mexican restaurant where we ate.

Downtown Austin

Texas State Capitol

Ceiling of the Texas State Capitol.








Great trip. Great memories

Grain of Salt

Where have I been in my life, anyway? I'm just now learning something I already knew at a superficial level and am now learning at a very deep level: A whole lot of the time we have absolutely no idea what people actually mean by what they say, and they have absolutely no idea what we mean either. I'm having weird experiences where I say something that seems incredibly easy to understand, and what is heard is something not even remotely like what I meant. I am also experiencing troubling examples of not understanding what people mean. All of which makes me remember other examples of misunderstandings in the past that were based on misreading of communication. Several people in my life have told me that they know for a fact what someone meant and what his/her motives were. I listened but disagreed that they knew for a fact...I could think of several other possibilities. So, right now I'm taking everything I hear with a grain of salt and asking a lot of questions about what the person meant. I'm also asking what people think about what I'm saying and getting some interesting result from that. Hmmmm.

AWOL

Here's the explanation for being a blogger out of touch - first I went on a four-day vacation. I came back with an upper respiratory that put me on my butt. For the first time in four years since the wreck, I couldn't get it together to post. Today, for the first time, I'm feeling pretty well. Yay! But now I've probably lost all my readers. Phooey. Well, it's time to start over.

Classes

I feel as if I'm making a little progress. The second book study I started went well at the first meeting. There were about 15 people there and most of them were enthusiastic. Of course, if things go as they usually do, there will be drop outs as time goes on. But "Drop the Rock" is a very challenging book and some people will not like being challenged and will quit. I'm hoping that others will join as the word spreads and attendance will be good throughout the study. I re-scheduled the coaching workshop so I'm hoping I will still have a good number at that. That one is a big experiment so I'm a little anxious. But it is so good to actually have the energy to get through a day without having to rest!

Prayer

"Prayer is a good thing to wrap around us every day. Whenever we get in a jam, get confused, need help or don't know what to do next, taking a minute to talk to God and ask for guidance is a good call." Melody Beattie. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact

This is pretty easy to forget. I grew up knowing from a young age that I needed to rely on myself. That's pretty scary for either a young kid or an adult of any age. If you're not scared when you're relying on yourself, you are under a delusion because none of us can do much alone. There is a part of me that reaches out to God and the ideas that come to me are based on love. I'm taken out of the fear that I'm in and put back into the knowledge that all is well despite appearances. This is what I'm using as a tool as so many changes are taking place in my life.

365 Project

Change is taking place all around me right now and I am feeling unsettled. I created some of the changes and some of them are being created by other people (and they didn't ask my permission!). But all in all it was a good week. The class members of the "You Can Heal Your Life" book study on the last night. It was good and it was timely.

If you look closely you can see the back end of one bird trying to get some bird seed before the squirrels come back.

All the Christmas decorations are ready to be put away.

My friends Sharon and Claudia on New Year's Day at the big party.

A very long time after the snow fell, it's still sticking around.

Once a week for 10 minutes I get my Vitamin D

Practice

"Practice being grateful for everything you don't like every day, five times a day for the next month. Force it. Fake it...But you've been practicing misery about these same things..That hasn't worked. Why not give gratitude a try? Melody Beattie. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact.

According to Melody Beattie, gratitude has power. So I'm going to be grateful for the freeeezing temperatures and the light dusting of snow that will make everything slick again and the cat urp on the carpet. Well, just trust me - I'm working on being grateful.

An Art

"Learning to want what you have and be where you are is an art. So is learning how to get to wherever you're going to." Melodie Beattie. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact.

I've never really been successful at anything if I wasn't first grateful, at least a little bit, for where and who I am. Usually I wasn't even aware of it, but it was still there. The thing is, if I'm in a terrible funk because things aren't the way I want them to be, I am simply unable to move forward. I lack the energy, enthusiasm and hope that are necessary. Beginning this new year with gratitude will go a long ways to helping me make the changes I want to make. I'm finally able to give my physical well being a little less time and energy which can then be given to some new activities. And for that I am truly grateful.

New Year

The tradition of celebrating the new year must be a very old one. I'm very old and I remember it. (ha) I think it's a good idea to make a new start at least once a year, but I've been taught in recovery that it's a good idea to make a new start any time you think things are going south. Pick a day, any day and start over. I've started a lot of things over in the last 26 years. Plus I can think of some things it would have been a good idea to start over. I've come to believe that marriages should be started over every morning - a new commitment to a new person from a new person. All bad habits should be ditched the first thing every morning. A new parent to new children. A new employee, business owner, whatever. It's a new day; why not change every day into a new and better person? That's my new year's resolution.

365 Project

Getting ready to see Avatar - 3D glasses on. Bec, Aaron, Adam, Thein.

The painting Thein painted for the Russell's Christmas.

Everything's still not opened!

Time to open stockings on Christmas morning!


Here are the makings for the traditional Vietnamese soup on Christmas Eve!

Liz and Thein are working on the traditional Viet Namese soup which took all day to make. It was wonderful!

A white Christmas!

The penguin outfit has been replaced with reindeer antlers.

Pumpkin pancakes for breakfast for Adam and Thein who has her penguin outfit on for warmth.

Here's everybody but me for dinner - Liz, Fred, Aaron, Thein, Adam, Josh (Bec's boyfriend), Bec, Bec's friend Winky.

My new fuzzy socks with sticky things on the bottom (so I won't fall down) that Minky got me for Christmas.

Sore Tooth

"As the sore tooth draws our tongue, so do rejections, affronts, painful criticisms, both past and present draw our minds. We court self-pity, both loving and hating it. But we can change this pattern. First we must decide we are ready to do so. The program tells us we must become "entirely ready." And then we must ask to have this shortcoming removed. The desire to dwell on the injustices of our lives becomes habitual. It takes hours of our time. It influences our perceptions of all other experiences. We have to be willing to replace that time-consuming activity with one that's good and healthy. We must be prepared for all of life to change. Our overriding self-pity has so tarnished our perceptions that we may never have sensed all the good that life daily offers. How often we see the glass as half-empty rather than half-full! A new set of experiences awaits me today. And I can perceive them unfettered by the memories of the painful past. Self-pity need not cage me today." Each Day a New Beginning.

The holidays are a great time for dwelling on painful memories of the past. In my case, I created a lot of those painful memories by my own bad behavior. Some of those memories are of other people's bad behavior. Some time in early recovery, I decided that I would do my best to create happy memories for myself and to the extent possible, for other people. This year I spent Christmas with my oldest daughter and her family - all of them dedicated to creating happy memories and traditions. They go all out and they include both blood family and friend and romantic family. It's a lovely time, full of love. I am grateful for new happy memories.

My memories of Ron's and my Christmases are equally lovely. We spent quite a few of them alone because of all the blended family issues and distance from family. But we always set out to make each of them memorable.

Every holiday has it's downside for me - either stress-related issues or just missing missing people. I am thankful, though, for what I've learned in recovery - let that stuff go and remember the wonderful. What a great time I've had this year!

Guidance

"There is no punishment; only guidance." Attitude of Gratitude blog.

What a lovely thought for this day. I read this blog pretty much every morning. It's written by a guy in Houston who is in recovery. He made a commitment several years ago to post a gratitude list every day and he's kept it up. He has the most beautiful gratitude lists. I make much better ones for myself after reading his. This one really caught at my heart - My higher power has never punished me; but I've had some pretty strong guidance. (ha)

365 Project

Here's where the butterflies went when they had to leave the tree for icicles.

Tammy in the receiving line at her wedding. And a beautiful wedding it was.

Here's Caryn getting ready to give me my Christmas present - beautifully manicured fingers and toes. She is the best!!!

Here's Bridget on the horse with her helpers.




My neighbors have done a great job of lighting up their yard.









Here are some of the women at the exceptional women's party.

The table is set for the party for 12 exceptional women. (Eric called it the super girls party)

Kristin and Marc at our family Christmas party.

Horses

I had the very great pleasure of going to a riding stable first thing this morning to see my daughter, who has pretty much every disability you can imagine, get on a horse and ride for 30 minutes. The stable provides riding lessons for children and adults with any disability. I would even qualify. Her physical therapist is thrilled that they are going to work with her. Riding will strengthen her core muscles and help her balance. She will also have fun. When she was much younger, she used to love to ride.

Challenges

I'm still reading Melody Beattie's book, 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact. This week's readings are on challenges. She maintains that if we don't have challenges, we'll create some for ourselves - and for those of us with addiction problems, they're usually negative and self-defeating challenges. For example, when I don't have enough challenges in my life, I'll decide to take on a "change the world" project, or spend too much time trying to help someone who doesn't want help.

Melody suggests that the solution is to create challenges for ourselves that are healthy and important (and maybe even fun). Set new goals for ourselves in our work, relationships and/or spiritual life. Make a plan to grow closer to someone you love, learn something new for your work, or learn a new spiritual practice. What a good time of the year for me to think about this. I always set goals, but this is kind of a new take on what I usually do. Entertaining - I love to be entertained. More on this later.

Acceptance

"If you have to swallow a toad, don't stare at it too long." A Woman's Spirit.

What in the world is the moral in that quote, you might ask. According to the reading, it's that there are a lot of things that might happen today that I won't like. I can pout and be miserable, or I can cultivate a peaceful attitude. Which am I going to choose? Well, I certainly hope I don't have to swallow a toad today. But I do need to finish my Christmas shopping.

365 Project Still week 20 something

The table is set for the annual potluck dinner the Step Practice group does every year. This year I decided to do a book study instead. 15 years was long enough.

Eric came to go to The Nutcracker, but he had to do some chores too. Putting icicles on the tree makes it a Christmas tree. So...the decorations are done.

Peggy, Eric and I went to The Nutcracker. It was probably the best one of all those I've seen!

I've started writing a little bit every day which means I spend more time in front of the computer than usual. Cisco has decided to help - or at least edit.

If you didn't know where the meeting was already, you probably wouldn't know if was here. But here's the door - meetings Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights

Santa in an airplane and with his sleigh in the daytime. (Taken by Eric on our way back to the house from someplace)

Santa in an airplane and Santa with his sleigh on my way home from a meeting. My neighborhood has some great decorations.

Change

"A gentle, open prayer for help and of thanksgiving surely will help pave the way for change. We don't need to make it sa struggle or an epic. Our prayer can be a gradual, gentle process." Drop the Rock.

I love the programs' Steps 6 and 7. It's the first time I ever knew that I could change with the help of God. Of course, I didn't realize that it's a lifetime process - maybe a little like an epic even though the quote above says it's not. Right now I have several new people I'm working with and they are all terribly nuts like new people are. I'm having a hard time being empathetic. Then I realized (thanks to some re-reading of Drop the Rock - a book on Steps 6 & 7) that when there are character defects in me that need to be changed, I will suddenly be surrounded by people with those same defects and they will irritate me to death. Hmmmm. I hate it but it's true.

Focus

"...instead of always allowing your thoughts and behaviors to be spontaneous and random, why not, at least occasionally, consciously focus on and practice a value instead?" Melody Beattie. 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact.

One of the MAJOR things I'm grateful for learning in my recovery program, is that I'm responsible for what I think about. And that what I think about, to a large degree, determines how I feel and what I do. I was completely amazed to learn this! I thought that thoughts and emotions were just something that happened to us and were outside our control.

The first thing they taught me was that when I was scaring myself by what I was thinking about, I could say the Serenity Prayer over and over instead. What an amazing difference just that one small change made. Since 1996 I've been doing a class where one of the assignments is to monitor our thinking every day and change it when it's negative. That makes an incredible difference too. Now here's another idea: Focus on a value and practice it - that could be fun - especially in the holiday season. Maybe the value of lightheartedness would be a good one - replacing stress and worry and hurry. "Tis the season to be jolly", etc.